Confessions of an Introvert

It's no secret that I have the social graces of a hermit crab. I tend to spend more time inside my shell, doing my own thing, than out interacting with the public. Over the years, I have come to fully accept my introverted personality, even when it means that I'm awkward in social situations, I don't engage in small talk, and there are very few people who are close enough to know intimate details about me.

Because introverts often get a bad rap, I thought it would be fun to share some secret confessions - the scandalous things we all think that keep us on the fringes of a modern, civilized society. 😉

My phone rings so infrequently that when it does, I'm sure someone has died.
I keep my social circle small, and many of my close friends are also introverts, so we prefer texting over calling. So, when my phone does ring, it's usually regarding a serious subject like the grave illness or death of a loved one. Anyone who goes into tachycardia when the ringer starts to sound understands this feeling of panic. We need medals for surviving all those political and telemarketing calls without our butts landing in therapy.

I don't feel bad when you cancel on me.
On the rare occasion I actually do make plans to leave my cocoon, I always have a plan B in place. This contingency plan usually involves cozy yoga pants, a messy bun, a book, and some Mexican food. I am not disappointed at all when a friend bails on me, a doctor has to cancel an appointment, or if you decide to elope instead of going through with your wedding this weekend. We fiiiine.

My family and close friends know what's up when I disappear.
When I'm with my people, they know that when I dip out, it's because I've hit my limit on social interaction. It's not uncommon for me to go MIA after hanging out with loved ones for an hour or so. They don't question my motives and I make no apologies. This girl has had enough and is in need of a nap.

I actually prefer Cyber Monday, online dating, and Netflix over the real-life things.
A few nightmare scenarios that have actually caused legit panic attacks for me: going to the mall on Black Friday, sitting in a crowded movie theater, and being fixed up on a blind date. I actually like doing my shopping, dating, and consuming of entertainment, online. Obviously, the internet boyfriend has to become the real thing at some point, or I start to get questions from my family, but I'm able to save my IRL meet-and-greets for the good guys by weeding out the jerks and preventing those uncomfortable end-of-first-date blunders.

There is an unspoken understanding between my introvert pals.
I have many introverted friends that I know primarily online. They dot the globe and we often talk about meeting up but have a general understanding that these plans will never come to fruition. We will continue to be the best of internet friends and love each other even more because we know we're on the same page. After all, a meeting for coffee between two socially awkward people who don't enjoy talking or being in public would just be ... weird.