What I Learned | Spring 2022
We’re at the end of June and I’m still trying to write (or type) the year 2021 when I date something. When I was little, I used to play this game on the merry-go-round where I’d pick something to focus on, and each revolution, I’d try to find that one thing. I would sometimes choose an object, but that was boring because it never moved. If I chose a person, though, say, the man in a red t-shirt and a black baseball cap, it instantly became a challenge to try to follow him as he weaved in and out of the crowd and I went round and round.
Now that I’m older, life too often feels like that merry-go-round. We cycle through the months and years and only focus on the landmarks, the milestones. We miss all of the little details of life, the smells, the colors, the beauty, and the ugliness of it all. Life has become more about checking off lists and tackling all the chores, catching up on all the shows, and engaging in all the posts. Summer is supposed to be a time of relaxing and now that summer is here, I hope to slow down some and try to enjoy the little things.
Today I’m joining Emily P. Freeman in sharing what I’ve learned this spring. I am a month late in writing this, mainly because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share it publicly. These posts serve as a record of the things happening in my life, and I have been hesitant to put them out in the world. In the old days of blogging, this would have been a post that received heavy engagement. I used to get a lot of generic comments from people who just expected engagement back and I hate those games. I’ve always preferred genuine community over haggling for larger numbers, both here and on social media. It’s for this reason that I’ve not allowed comments on these posts.
But I do miss the community that comes from the blogging world, the people who write about their lives for fun, to share with friends and family, and to make connections. I’ve considered opening the comments again so that I can better communicate with those who do read these posts and maybe the casual stranger who wanders in and connects with something I’ve read. It’s actually how I’ve met some of my friends today. So, I’ll try to open the lines of communication once again and see what happens. Who knows? Maybe the result will wind up in next quarter’s post.
Here’s what I learned this spring:
Alexa can read Kindle books.
My actual Kindle doesn’t work unless I hold it a particular way, which is super annoying. So, when my partner, Frank, told me about an article he read that mentioned using Alexa to narrate Kindle books, I was very excited… AND IT WORKS! I’ve had tons of books that I’d downloaded to my Kindle years ago, and they’ve been sitting there, gathering digital dust, because it’s been a hassle to read them. But now, I can turn them into audiobooks using the Alexa app on my phone. It’s Alexa’s standard voice, which is a little computerized when you’re used to the animated narration of standard audiobooks. Also, the narration speed only goes up to about 2x, so if you’re a speed reader (listener?,) that might not be fast enough, but beggars can’t be choosers. The one thing I have not been able to do is to convert my e-book galleys that are sent by publishers, as they normally come in a PDF or EPUB format, but if these are the only books I have to read on my regular Kindle, I won’t complain.
Eight hours of sleep doesn’t make sense for a lot of people.
I’ve been doing some sleep research and I’ve learned that sleep usually happens in 90-minute cycles. A human needs to get several of these cycles in one sleep session, which would add up to a good night’s rest. I’ve always heard that people need 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night and that anything less than that, severely affects the brain. But I’ve never been able to sleep for that long in one stint. I’ve always slept for about three hours before waking up feeling ready to get up and do something. It’s only when I am sick or flaring that I require extra sleep, and that’s usually 16 to 20 hours a day. I also learned that I am a polyphasic sleeper, as I often need two of these shorter sleep sessions throughout my day.
My body does not like the heat. Or daylight, for that matter.
One of my chronic illnesses makes me extremely intolerant to heat. The other one causes me to become dehydrated very quickly, so I’m not a huge fan of hot weather. As I’ve gotten older, this has become more and more true, as I can walk outside in the height of a summery day and feel the energy drain out of me like a phone battery on 5% charge with a lot of apps open in the background. It’s funny because this little factoid about me tracks with my personality perfectly. I’m a night person, through and through. I feel more active and creative at night. I actually enjoy the silence in the dead of night. I’ve always enjoyed going for middle-of-the-night drives in the city. It’s peaceful.
Last year, Frank sent me an old article in The New York Times called “The Night Girl Finds a Day Boy,” (or listen to it here,) and then we watched the episode adaptation in the Prime series, Modern Love. I have never felt more seen in my entire life. It was like all the joy that I feel at the possibility that my night holds was caught in one of those little butterfly nets and displayed for the rest of the world to see. I felt represented and that I didn’t need to apologize for being more tired during the day and more alive at night. I am a night girl.
Forgiving is a gift you give yourself.
I had a work project this spring where Huma Abedin was a speaker. It was about politics, but there was one thing she said that really resonated with me. “Forgiving is a gift you give yourself.” I always felt that forgiveness was somehow letting someone off the hook, but it’s more about protecting your peace. It was something I needed to hear at that moment and it’s stuck with me.
The gun control/protection conversation is easier when there are helpful resources.
This was definitely a season in which guns were in a lot of headlines. It’s a very heated and emotional topic for many. I don’t care for guns and would be happy if there were none in the world, but I also understand that they are necessary in some cases. Most of my family are gun owners, so it’s a conversation I usually avoid. Two helpful resources that I’ve found for talking about guns and why we need some common sense laws are Sharon McMahon’s free gun laws workshop/webinar and Taylor S. Schumann’s book, When Thoughts and Prayers Aren’t Enough: A Shooting Survivor’s Journey into the Realities of Gun Violence. Both of these resources have helped me better articulate my thoughts on this topic.
People love a redemption story.
If you’ve been living under a rock the last few weeks, you might have missed the 15-part story of Detra from the Humans of NY Instagram page. I can’t count the number of friends who shared these posts in their stories and on their feeds. This was a story that touched everyone who read it. People love a redemption story. This woman endured years of abuse under the hand of her minister husband and ended up homeless on the streets of NYC. But she had faith that her life would turn around. We all need more stories with happy endings.
I’m really into Broadway shows.
I never would have thought of myself as a Broadway girl. I liked musicals and plays okay, but wouldn’t have bought a ticket and gone to see one on my own. Then I watched Hamilton, back when it became available on Disney+ and I fell in love. Flash forward a few years when I start dating a man who finds great enjoyment in going to Broadway shows and even keeps all of the playbills that he’s collected over the years. He took me to see Mean Girls this spring and I didn’t want it to end. I now want to see every show available, but all in good time. First up, we are going to see Hamilton for our anniversary this summer and I am stoked.
