Dear 2017 | A Letter of Reflection
"She remembered who she was and the game changed." - Lalah Delia
Dear 2017,
It's that time again. The time to open the book of my life, flip to your chapter, and reflect on all that we shared together. You were a good year, filled with many new challenges and opportunities to learn and grow. You had some lows too, but I'm learning to counterbalance those with a positive attitude, all while trying to find my plumb line and stay grounded.
I started the beginning of our journey in an attorney's office, finalizing the paperwork to dissolve my marriage of twelve years. It's been a long time coming, but I'm glad to finally put that part of my life to rest. Saying goodbye to that piece of me was bittersweet, but I realize I was a different person then and I can see how far I've come since I hung up my "wife" hat.
You were the year of finding myself again. The year of looking into the darkest depths of my heart and working hard to heal those broken spots I'd been neglecting for far too long. You were the year of mindfulness and self-care and learning to love the woman I saw in the mirror. This was only the first leg of a long journey and not an easy one at that, but it feels so good to stitch up old wounds, make peace with my inner voice and learn to trust her once again.
You were the year of hard lessons learned. There were some ups and downs in the game called 'love" when someone I thought I wanted came back into my life this spring. I quickly learned that just because someone says they love you, doesn't mean it's true. Actions speak decibels and this time, the actions just weren't there to back up the frail words that were tainted with lies and deceit. Just as fast as the wind blew him in, it blew him right back out of my life, freeing up that space for whatever the new year may hold. Maybe it will be the year of singleness or maybe I'll connect with someone who could change the story forever. Only time will tell.
You were also the year of stretching my legs and taking chances on some of the big dreams I've had for a long, long time. From submitting pieces for printed publication to opening up some new avenues to write in other genres, I'm focusing on projects both on and off the blog and I'm excited to see some of these "babies" of mine come to maturation. Additionally, I made some big changes on the novel-writing front, completely changing my story up for a fresh idea and finding major inspiration on that path. Maybe the new year will be one for a published novel...
You were the year of pushing comparison out the door. For years, it was a ghost that haunted me whenever I looked at feeds on social media. Like an evil queen tempting me to take a bite of a virulent apple, it lurked every time I logged on. It wasn't jealousy or envy or antipathy I suffered from. Just the idea that I needed to be measuring myself next to someone else's standards, and it nearly cost me my sanity. One thing I've learned is that you cannot claim to be for your fellow women and play the comparison game at the same time. You must put the measuring stick down and celebrate the accomplishments each woman is making in her own life. Women should be encouraging one another - always. No exceptions.
Finally, you were the year of letting go of distractions. The year of giving myself the pleasure of unplugging from all electronics on the weekends and setting boundaries for the time I spend on people and things that were not supportive of my game plan. You were the year of deleting apps on my phone, tablet, and laptop and replacing them with ones that reminded me to meditate, drink water, exercise, and give myself a little self-care. Looking back, I do not regret one second.
I learned so much while I traveled on this winding path with you and I'm glad we got to spend the time together. Along the way, I've stopped to pick up little mementos to remind me of you and I will forever cherish them, but now it's time to say goodbye and go our separate ways.
Ciao, 2017! You were a gem.
