What I Learned | Winter 2017
We are always learning and growing and it's important to acknowledge the progress we make so we can fully appreciate how far we've come. The lovely Emily Freeman (author and blogger) hosts a fun writing exercise and link up so we can all share the things we've learned in that season. I loved the idea of reflecting on lessons learned, so I was inspired to join in.
Here's what I learned this winter.
I am a minimalist by nature.
As I've gotten older and have moved several times in several years, I've learned to appreciate simplicity when it comes to my possessions that will need to be cared for, stored, packed and transported each time I change locations. I did several big purges in 2016 and I haven't missed any of the items I parted with. Ten years ago, I would have enjoyed having a home stocked with all of the things but now, I feel more comfortable with the bare necessities. This winter, after reading The More of Less by Joshua Becker, I buckled down and focused on letting go of things that no longer made me happy and weren't essentials and I have never felt lighter and freer in my life.
The internet is an introvert's best friend.
Going out and meeting new people in real life is not my cup of tea. I'm very anti-social in new situations and frankly, I'd rather hang out at home with my nose in a book. The problem with that is, I wasn't allowing myself to make new connections. Thankfully, I'm able to connect with so many people online, both through the blog and other creative outlets and some of these relationships have turned into genuine real-life friendships. It's also helped me to feel slightly less socially awkward in face-to-face situations. Double win!
My anxiety still has a powerful hold on me.
After nearly two decades of suffering from crippling anxiety and countless hours of therapy, I've learned that when I stop being vigilant and practicing mindfulness, my nemesis creeps back in and takes hold of me again. I battled with it a lot this winter. I thought I was "cured" of it and didn't need to continue practicing the steps to keep my mind healthy, and boy was I wrong. I finally had to sit down, have a long look in the mirror, and give myself some tough love. So, now it's back to the therapy workbooks, practicing mindfulness techniques, and checking in with myself frequently to keep me on track. With a little practice, hopefully, I'll healthy again soon.
When I write from the heart, my content is SO much better.
I will admit that I started this season off in a creative rut. Everything I wrote felt bland and generic. It was only when I started reflecting on my One Little Word for 2016 that I realized my heart wasn't in the creative process anymore. I wrote two blog posts right after that focusing on writing from the heart and, all of a sudden, it felt natural again. The crazy thing was that it wasn't just me who noticed. I started getting comments on posts and emails and texts from people who felt something when they read what I wrote and that inspired me to decide that I wouldn't write anything in 2017 unless it came from my heart.
Multitasking is not for me.
I've worked in numerous professional offices where multitasking skills were essential. This winter, I did some research and the stats I read were incredible. Not only was juggling multiple tasks at once killing my productivity, but there were also other things I was doing to prevent efficiency. Since learning of this, I have changed the way I work and I'm pleased to say I am so much more productive now.
I can only love myself when I see myself as a stranger.
So, it's no secret that I've struggled with a negative self-perception for many years. I shared in a recent coffee date post how I couldn't look in a mirror for years and battled with a minor eating disorder because of this self-loathing. After journaling about how I viewed myself in 2017, I vowed to practice a little more self-love. One of the things I realized through this process was that I needed to be compassionate with myself and in order to do that, I needed to think of myself as someone else. I hope one day, I'll be able to look in a mirror and feel great about what I see, but for now, baby steps.
I still don't feel like I have my act together, but that's ok.
I don't know why I thought I'd get to a point in my life when I'd feel like I had reached the finish line; like my work here was done. When bad days and the "what the heck am I doing?" thoughts stopped happening. When I followed a straight line to my destination and didn't feel the need to question the map. Where's the living in that? Sadly, I did feel like this until recently, when I saw this quote from Brendon Buchard: "I would rather be a hot mess of bold action, a make-it-happen, learn-on-the-fly kind of person than a perfectly organized coward." Oh yeah... Life is about the process and not the finished product, isn't it? A major aha moment.
I have an amazing tribe.
From my family to my sweet friends, I have such a caring and supportive, truth-speaking group of people around me every day. I don't know where I'd be without my tribe.
I'm a lot stronger than I've ever given myself credit for.
I'm going to be real-real for a second and tell you that the past few seasons have been some of the hardest of my life. Before this winter, I would have assured you I'd crumple under the weight of anything emotionally painful. This winter, my marriage of eleven years officially came to an end after a long and painful separation. I found out that my kids (my precious dog and cats) would not be returning to my life. I had to come to grips with the fact that my future was likely not going to end up the way I saw it sketched out from the age of ten. With the odds I'd given myself, I shouldn't have survived it all, but here I am, pushing forward. I am strong. I can survive the tough things.
