Currently | Summer 2022
Seasonal affective disorder is no joke. I normally deal with it in the winter months when the days are cold and short, but it seems to have reared its ugly head this summer. I believe there are a few contributing factors to this. My natural circadian rhythm has me working at night and sleeping during the day. I’ve also moved out of a home with tons of natural sunlight (I needed blackout shades to sleep) into my partner’s home which has southwest-facing windows that are tinted to keep the place cooler during the day. But, also, my health has been shit lately and that makes me have negative feelings about my body, which always makes my depression spike.
I miss writing for fun and decided to go back to one of my favorite styles of old-school blogging with a currently post. The woman who hosted the monthly linkup, Anne, has decided to step back for a little hiatus because she has a lot going on in her family, and let’s face it, we all need a break sometimes. So, today I’m sending Anne lots of love and am writing about what’s been happening in my life lately.
Loving - the quiet of the late-night workflow.
Eating - lots of fish, lots of Mexican, and lots of comfort food.
Working - on getting settled in at the new place and combining all the things with Frank. (Recommendations for a better local selling platform than Facebook Marketplace?)
Picturing - a sweet little girl who was born 19 years ago and lit up the world with her smile. She passed away in July and my heart is broken.
Collecting - books. We have been visiting a lot of indie bookstores and finding lots of gems to add to our shelves. So excited!
Wanting - a burrito (even though I had them for dinner,) a massage, and a day where I don’t feel pressured (by myself) to do anything other than kick my feet up and read.
Anticipating - a star-filled weekend. Frank and I are traveling to Shenandoah National Park to watch the Perseid meteor shower. He even bought a telescope for the occasion.
Planning - on paper. I had been using Google calendar to keep track of tasks and appointments, but I found that it was too easy to put off the things that I should be doing every day. I hope to accomplish more now that things are written in ink.
Following - the rescue of many big felines and other animals that were abandoned and in bad shape. I’ve supported the organization for years and was devastated to see the neglect, but I’m encouraged knowing the animals will all be in better care soon.
Making - plans for a vacation in December. We are spending another week and a half in Seattle and Portland and, as usual, I’m making lists of all the places to eat and things to do. My man surprised me with tickets to the Oregon Ballet Theatre to see The Nutcracker and I’m looking forward to it very much.
Smelling - my new Black Bamboo candle from Village. It was on an endcap display at the grocery store and I needed a quick fix for some smelly cooking sessions, and this one does the trick.
Getting - new jeans that fit properly. Increased steroids to manage my condition means that I’m gaining some weight. My old jeans don’t fit and I’m tired of living in leggings or loungewear. So, I’m being a big girl (smirk) and buying clothes that fit my body as it is today. This has been a huge lesson in self-acceptance because I have always struggled with negative body image, no matter what size I am. I am lucky to have a wonderful partner who loves and affirms me, whether I’m dressed up and looking my best or like I’ve just rolled out of a dumpster.
Wearing - new earbuds and it’s made all the difference.
Listening - to the Pansuit Politics podcast and the January 6th Select Committee hearings. Yikes is all I’m going to say for now.
Consuming - a lot of women’s reproductive wellness content on Instagram since the historic Supreme Court decision that overturned the Roe v. Wade/Planned Parenthood v. Casey rulings. I’m learning more about my reproductive system than I ever have.
Watching - junk television. I gave up cable television when I moved and I missed all my Bravo drama. So, I subscribed to Peacock and can watch all the Housewives. But in my defense, I also got it to enjoy other non-trash entertainment like Project Runway and Top Chef.
Wondering - when autumn will arrive. Yes, I am one of those people who have been tired of summer since before it started.
Posting - nothing on Instagram. For some reason, a lot of the features that I had for Stories have disappeared with no explanation. I’ve restarted my device, logged out then back in again, and reinstalled the app to no avail. I’m taking this as a sign from the universe that I should be doing more important things than posting nonsense on the gram.
Feeling - buzzy and exhausted at the same time. Damn steroids.
Scheduling - more date nights into my life. They don’t have to be fancy, just intentional.
Creating - soon. I’ve been inspired by Ali Edwards’s… well, everything, but specifically her morning marks, where she puts marks on pages with no rhyme or reason. I love the idea of letting my mind quiet down and my hands get busy.
Reading - Station Eleven, finally! Now I’ll be able to watch the miniseries that so many have been talking about.
Taking - pride in my menu planning as of late. I missed being able to cook most nights and am glad that I have a full-time foodie date.
Craving - Christmas cookies.
Appreciating - my kitties. They are so affectionate and are always doing funny things when I’m feeling down and need to smile.
Enjoying - getting mail and packages when they are actually delivered. My old home was five miles from the mailbox units. (#CountryLiving) So, when a package was delivered, it would often be locked inside the post office shed which was only open for an hour and a half when someone was physically there putting mail into the boxes. Amazon Prime’s two-day delivery sometimes ended up being a week if you couldn’t get there when the mailperson was there. It was very poor planning for a community of thousands of people. Now that I’m living outside of the woods, my packages are delivered right to my door and I will never take that for granted.
Shopping - for school supplies. No joke, I dragged Frank out early last Sunday morning and went to two different stores to stock up on supplies that weren’t absolute necessities but make me extremely happy when I get to use them in my office.
Going - to see HAMILTON in two weeks!!! Can you tell I’m delighted?
Resolving - to get a better movement routine into my days. Sitting at a desk for hours is not doing my body any favors.
Playing - this stupid cube match game that is more frustrating than soothing, but I’m competitive (with myself) and keep trying to reach a higher level than before.
Finding - more quiet moments to sit and think. It’s been good for the brain.
Thinking - that I need a painting session soon. I miss being creative.
Wishing - you a joyful remainder of your summer - or winter, if you’re one of my Southern Hemisphere friends. :)
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