Coffee Date | Spring 2023
If you and I had coffee…
We’d probably meet up for a lunch date at a cafe with outdoor seating because this week’s weather is supposed to be divine and I want to savor every moment of it. I’d order a bowl of soup and half a sandwich with a glass of ice water and a lemon wedge, on the side. Perhaps I’ll have a latte for dessert. While we wait for our food, we’d chat about the season and the end of the school year. I’d ask if you had plans for the summer and share that I have a lot of organization and improvement projects around the house that I wanted to focus on over the next few months. There’s no summer vacation on the books, as it’s Frank’s busiest time of the year with work, but I am looking forward to a beach trip in the fall.
If you and I had coffee…
I’d share that life has been quiet since the Women’s Mental Health Conference at the end of April. I spent seven months working on the planning committee and Frank and I drove up to Connecticut for the event. It was an excellent conference and I was blown away by the speakers we had this year, including star of FX’s Pose, Dominique Jackson, and author, Esmé Weijun Wang. Plus, I got to meet a bunch of the other planning committee members in person for the first time, as we’ve been meeting virtually over the year. It was a great experience and I’ve already signed up to participate next year, as well as take on a leadership role.
If you and I had coffee…
I’d ask if you ever feel like you were forgettable. I’d tell you that I often think that I don’t make a big impact on people’s lives, that after meeting someone, or even after several meetings with them, I slip away from memory and don’t leave much of an impression. On the other hand, I sometimes worry that my personality is too big and that I have too many quirks to be likable. I have to walk the tightrope of keeping myself small so as not to overwhelm others but run the risk of them forgetting me. It’s something I’ve struggled with most of my life. I like to think I’m someone who is easy to be a friend to, but when I think about it, most of my “friends” have slipped away and I have mostly acquaintances in my life now.
This is a topic that I need to work on more in my life. I need to stop shrinking to fit others’ expectations of me and just be myself. If someone doesn’t like me, that’s their problem, not mine, and I shouldn’t alter my personality for them. I want to develop deeper friendships and have a meaningful impact on the people who enter my life, but making that happen is tricky. I’d ask if you had any insight or if this is something you also struggle with.
If you and I had coffee…
I’d share that I have made another change in my endless journey to organize my life. Last autumn, I purchased the Commit30 planner and have been using it religiously since then, but this week, I switched back to a digital calendar. I admire those who can keep a paper schedule, especially the people who use stickers, washi tape, and pretty markers to make their planner pages beautiful. I tried to be such a person, but at the end of the day, I felt that I was wasting too much time planning and not enough doing. What has worked best for me is my Google calendar that I can link to my email and add events quickly and easily. It also allows me the flexibility to move tasks around without having to erase or cross out things on paper.
I’d still recommend Commit30 to anyone who enjoys a physical planner. In the past, I’ve used the Day Designer by Whitney English, Emily Ley’s Simplified Planner, Erin Condren’s Life Planner, and every little paper planner you can get at Target or stationery stores, and Commit30 is the most streamlined and formattable of them all. I’m always on a mission to simplify my life and maybe one day, I’ll be able to go back to paper, but for now, I’m embracing technology and sticking with what works best.
If you and I had coffee…
We’d finish our lunch and linger over the last sips of our coffee. I’d tell you that we should plan to meet up again soon, perhaps at the end of summer so we can chat about life and the fun adventures we might have had. I’d give you a hug and thank you for being such a caring and loyal friend and I can’t wait for our next coffee date.
