Coffee Date | Fall 2023
If you and I had coffee…
We’d sit down in front of our computers, fall beverage in hand, and log in to a virtual date because schedules have been hectic, and getting away from homes and families and jobs, even for a short while, is difficult lately. I’d have a mug of peppermint tea and would likely still be in my pajamas, as that’s what my life has been like, but we’d be excited for a chat no matter how we look.
If you and I had coffee…
I’d ask how your autumn is going, specifically if you like doing all the fall things like going to pick pumpkins and trick-or-treating with your kids. I’d share that Frank and I went to a local farm and rode a haywagon out to a field and chose some pumpkins to take home for carving. He’s never done it before, so I had to make sure we checked that seasonal right of passage off the list. We purchased a pattern book that came with the tools and spent an afternoon gutting and nipping and tucking our gourds until we were pleased with the designs. I even bought battery-operated tea lights to put inside the pumpkins so they would light up at night.
However, I don’t know if we carved too early or if the weather hasn’t been conducive to exposed pumpkin flesh, but ours started to wilt and rot almost immediately. They still sit on our stoop, looking puny and pitiful, but I’m hoping they will at least last until Halloween night, after which I’ll dump their shriveled carcasses into the woods behind our house.
If you and I had coffee…
I’d tell you that yesterday, I shared a vulnerable Instagram post about my chronic anxiety. Long story short, Frank and I were supposed to spend a long weekend at the beach, and while we did make the trip, I was anxious and suffering from panic attacks from the moment I walked into the hotel room. Frank said he could tell that my anxiety was getting bad, based on the hypervigilance I was showing in my packing routine, making detailed lists and packing THREE canvas bags full of food, way more than we could need in the short time we’d be there.
Turns out, my OCD was out of control. I was terrified of germs and being in a public space again, and while I couldn’t recognize that myself, it manifested in obsessive-compulsive behaviors, like the way I packed for the trip. It’s funny how the people around us can sometimes tell we’re getting in a bad way before we see or feel it ourselves.
We ended up cutting the trip short, leaving the next morning. Before we checked out, I walked out on the balcony of the hotel room just before sunrise and broke into tears as I watched people line up on the beach, as far as the eye could see, to watch the glorious horizon forming. It reminded me of the movie, City of Angels. I still don’t feel like myself.
If you and I had coffee…
We’d reluctantly finish our drinks and prepare to sign off for the day. There’s so much to do and so little time to do it. I’d promise you another meeting soon, maybe this time in person. With a great big virtual hug, I wish you well, my friend.
